swimming pool

the pool's open, and even though it's really not warm enough, i can hear a little kid's laughter and splashing carried up to my balcony on an almost-warm wind tonight, and summer doesn't seem quite so far away...

love,

j

home again, home again

this weekend, j and i got our saturday night shift covered and headed up to vancouver to celebrate both of our birthdays. normally we do one small trip for each of them, but this year, saving for our wedding, it seemed a little wiser and more responsible to whittle it down to one right in the middle. and, actually, in many ways it seemed even more special, celebratory, and lavish, because we were honoring two fantastic days in one long weekend.

and holy cow, vancouver is beautiful. we had a splendid time, and i had so many things i thought about posting. we visited this incredible charcuterie shop called oyama sausage company, where they had truffle salami and duck prosciutto and virtually everything that is sinfully tasty, went on this lovely little boat called the aquabus across false creek (i think, but i'd had a lot of champagne, so it very well could have been another body of water), saw kitty nights, a really fantastic burlesque show at the biltmore cabaret (where we so fortunately were on the vip guest list and i got to wear a pretty gold eva franco dress), dined on everything terrific, from lobster to lamb to perfect little french macarons in bright and cheerful colors, and saw dolphins and belugas at the aquarium. plus, i'd given jacob his birthday present: a tamron 18-270 zoom lens; and he was elated, so i had the joy of watching the love of my life play with a fancy new toy.

but i'm not posting any of those as my beautiful thing. i wasn't sure what it'd be until i sat down a few moments ago to write.

and thinking about what was the best birthday of my life, filled with so many exciting adventures and experiences, what i can truly say is this:

no matter how excellent a vacation is, and no matter how many complaints one might have about their house (and we have many, though small: not enough room, i hate the carpets, there's clutter everywhere that i can never seem to get on top of, we can't stand our determined-to-be-consistently-nasty-and-unpleasant downstairs neighbor, we miss having a yard), there is no anticipation so delicious as that of knowing you are about to return to your home.

so for the highlight of my exquisite long holiday, i'll be sitting, surrounded by the mess of wedding invitations and lists, goodwill piles, and mail i need to catch up on, with a puppy on my feet, the love of my life by my side, and the american version of shameless on the television, and i can't think of a more beautiful thing in the world.

love,

j

vivian maier

love,

j

our family

(so far).

love,

j

ps. was absent for a few, but with good reason: i was having the best birthday of my whole life.

pablo neruda's sonata

Neither the heart cut by a piece of glass

in a wasteland of thorns

nor the atrocious waters seen in the corners

of certain houses, waters like eyelids and eyes

can capture your waist in my hands

when my heart lifts its oaks

towards your unbreakable thread of snow.

Nocturnal sugar, spirit

of the crowns,

randsomed

human blood, your kisses

send into exile

and a stroke of water, with remnants of the sea,

neats on the silences that wait for you

surrounding the worn chairs, wearing out doors.

Night with bright spindles,

divided, material, nothing

but voice, nothing but

naked every day.

Over your breasts of motionless current,

over your legs of firmness and water,

over the permanence and the pride

of your naked hair

I want to be, my love, now that the tears are

thrown

into the raucous baskets where they accumulate,

I want to be, my love, alone with a syllable

of mangled silver, alone with a tip

of your breast of snow.

engagement sneak peek!

sunday afternoon we had engagement photos taken by the most lovely photographer, jovana zlicaric, who will be shooting our wedding as well. she is sweet and fun and oh so talented, and we are thrilled with her.

we have yet to see all the pictures, but here's a quick sneak peek...

love,
j

mutti

earlier today, i wrote a long post trying to explain how much i love my mom.

then my computer died, and the internet went down, and it pretty much all disappeared in time for me to realize that no matter how hard i try, nothing that i write could adequately express what an incredible woman she is. nevertheless, i find myself trying...

she has it all: she's beautiful and smart and driven and well-liked. i could never have asked for a better mother. in times where we had very little, i didn't notice or suffer, in fact, she made everything (even what i'm sure were the hardest things) feel like an adventure to me. my childhood was such a happy one. as i grew up, she supported me in everything. she was there for everything. she was honest with me about everything. there wasn't a person in the world i trusted as much as her. she watched and waited and gave me good advice and tough love when i wasn't sure if my choices were the right ones. she has always been the person who was there when my heart was broken. and when i have celebrated my victories, accomplishments, and joys, she has without fail been there with me. she taught me to walk fast, eat standing up, multi-task, always tell the truth (even when it is terrifying), eat a little bit of the cheese by itself when you're making mac&cheese, laugh often, and be proud of the person i am.

when i look at her now, i see an incredible role model, an inspirational woman who reminds me of what i hope to someday be, and my very best friend in the world.

this morning we ran our first half-marathon together. it was more than a race for me: it was a reminder of how lucky i am to have the gift of being her daughter.

i love you mom.

love,

j

dear refined carbohydrate-loaded foods,

i really had missed you.

love,

j

(ps. carbloading today for tomorrow's half marathon. it's pretty much the best thing i've ever done).

twigs and honey

planning our wedding has been marvelous.

you get to think all the time about being in love, your favorite food and music and people, and pretty things like these.

i am positively in love with twigs & honey, who make beautiful headpieces and fascinators and silk flowers that look like they could come right out of the great gatsby itself. the only really tough part is figuring out which one i want after i take off my veil...

my life is so hard.

love,

j

robot love

so i hate it when i can't just post things right here, and instead have to give a link to some place else...

but i found this really magical and hypnotic and soothing and time-stealing thing. it's extra beautiful and wonderful, and if you didn't click on the song in the last post, i can let it go but you have to click here.

just in case you didn't get that, here:

here it is.

everyone should see this and play with it and hopefully have a more beautiful day because of it.

it might just be one of my new favorite things.

love,

j

ps. in case you're wondering, all of those links go to the same page. i just wanted to be really sure you clicked one of them.

isn't this a night for love?

when i walk down the aisle in less than four months (holy cow!), it won't be to ave maria, or the gentle strums of a solo harp.

it'll be to the music of three bluegrass musicians playing one of my grandfather's favorite songs. i can remember him singing along to it in his deep and ever-so-slightly wavering voice while i played the piano. this time, it'll be a little bit slower, and a little bit different, but for the few moments it takes to walk through that room, my grandfather will be right there with me.

and i bet he'd even like that someone learned to play that song on a banjo.

(listen to it, it's good).

love,

j

tacoma

i swear to god, i never thought i'd write about tacoma as my beautiful thing. what i knew about tacoma prior to our visit today: its weird smell, the tacoma dome and monster truck shows (YOU'LL PAY FOR THE WHOLE SEAT BUT YOU'LL ONLY NEED THE EDGE), and my kickass wedding alterationist, who probably deserves her very own post in beautiful things. but nothing previously had led me to believe that the city of tacoma, washington, would land a spot here.

i'd like to retract all (or most) of the snarky comments i've made about tacoma.

it is beautiful.

it does have an undeniable odor on the drive in, but to be entirely fair, at that point you're located just upwind of a pulp mill, and even the prettiest french perfume probably smells like shit there.

and then you keep driving, and you find yourself in this beautiful town that reminds you of seattle, only with old buildings, and no huge towers, and a whole lot of charm.

we started at point defiance park, which is full of peeling red madrona trees and an enormous and very popular zoo. the views of the bridge that replaced galloping gertie are breathtaking, and framed by water and sky and branches of native plants. there's an offleash dog park that feels more like a secret meeting spot in the sun-spotted woods with a bunch of cool people and their even cooler dogs. there's a historical museum at fort nisqually, complete with actors in costume shooting fake guns. i'm told by jacob that there used to be a magical place called story book land right next to it, that had the gingerbread house and humpty dumpty. and then driving out, we got to see two stunning bald eagles soaring in perfect circles close overhead.

we sat outside for lunch to people-watch, and smell the cherry pipe tobacco wafting down the block. the streets are lined with lovely old craftsman houses that scream "home" without making a noise, and downtown there's fireman's park, where you can stand and watch barges glide across the sparkling blue sound, or turn the other direction for mount rainier, practically glowing in the sunshine.

but, better than all that, was spending a warm and sunny sunday (finally) uninterrupted with the two loves of my life. i am one lucky duck.

so, tacoma, i'm really sorry. you are actually really terrific. friends?

xo,

j