instead of sheep

at a mere two days (less really) from becoming a mrs., i find myself counting endless blessings.

last night we had our rehearsal dinner, and i looked at two amazing families becoming one, two groups of friends and their loved ones and one very cute baby, and i felt really lucky.

and then my fiyance went and swooned all night and could only talk about how amazing marrying me is, and i felt pretty sure that i am the luckiest ever.

i can barely stay awake now (and it's not even midnight) because i have so many incredible blessings, they are filling my head and my heart and my very soul, and each day feels even better than the last, and i have simply no need at all for sheep because i could keep counting the gifts i have and never come close to running out - and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart.

love,
j

snapshots

friday: an evening with shane and anne and talking about love.
yesterday: watching my puppy swim. eating caprese with heirloom tomatoes, stone fruit, fresh mozzarella, basil, and balsamic reduction.
today: celebrating grandma laurel's five year cancer free point. what a huge gift. then turning off cell phones and leaving them behind to hike lake 22 and remind ourselves what a beautiful place this is.
tomorrow: just a week left until the wedding. the beginning of a new week in my classroom. picking up old family photos at grandma g's. seeing j's brother for the first time in months.

this moment: resting under my favorite afghan with a pup on my lap.

(really great).

love,
j

such great heights

today i have a multitude of things for which to be grateful, things of definite beauty:

in twelve days, i marry my soulmate. so that's pretty amazing. and as he says, "i have hot feet." there's never been a thing in my life that's made me feel so sure. every particle of me loves every particle of him. every particle of me wants to keep him (and be kept) forever. i tend to have a really hard time with the words "forever" and "never." usually they elicit a reaction from me that could easily be compared to anaphylaxis: closed throat and panic and occasionally some hives and watery eyes. not here. i feel more grounded than ever; more peaceful and joyful and sure of everything, especially of how lucky i am to have found this amazing, handsome, soulful, intelligent, dreamy specimen of a man. did you see what he wrote about me? holy shit.

on the same note, i took my beautiful sister to go rehearse with our wedding band, pickled okra. not only are they a spectacular bluegrass group, they've taken the time to work out songs that mean so much to us (one of my grandfather's favorites, as well as our first dance, which is sort of a secret) but that resemble few of their usual tunes. they've learned the notes and the meaning, and then they've made them totally their own so that it's like de ja vu, i'm listening to songs i've known forever and finding a million new things to love about them. and they love claire, and she sounds incredible. and we spent probably a good half hour telling knock-knock and pirate jokes.

and then i went and saw my mom try on two dresses, she's trying to figure out which one to wear to the wedding, and to be totally honest, she is truly drop-dead-gorgeous in both. it doesn't even matter. she is stunning.

talked to my best friend about the things she's working on: she's inspiring. i strive to be more like her in so many ways.

realized i'm almost entirely done with wedding planning.

and now, that amazing man i'd been raving about in the first paragraph, is on his way home to me with the obvious wedding dress diet choice: a dick's deluxe and fries.

i was going to write a rant about the importance of etiquette and manners, and how much i appreciate parents that instill common decency into their children, but that flew out the window the second i started to write. this must be what bliss is. i can't stay irate. i can't even stay miffed. i am so supremely happy that sometimes i have to sit down so i don't just fall over.

love,
j