home is where my hart is.

it's a really exquisite affirmation when you spend all day thinking about how incredible the person you've chosen to spend your life with is, and you come home and realize that all those wonderful things you'd thought about them were actually an understatement.

to my undeniably better half... happy wednesday.

love,

j

happy sunday

today was so beautiful i don't even know where to begin.

how do you choose between waking up at 8 and then taking a nap until almost 11 (a truly lazy sunday), eating a delicious brunch of homemade belgian waffles, strawberries, fresh whipped cream, sausage, barefoot contessa rosemary roasted potatoes, and mimosas, having said brunch last five hours because you're catching up with your fiancee's friends you haven't seen in at least a year, realizing that your fiancee's friends are very quickly becoming your own dear friends who you cherish and are grateful for, seeing their kids grow into fantastic people who know all different superheroes and can climb dogwood trees and stealthily snatch poppies in the blink of an eye, talking about love, sitting on the front porch next to your soulmate and waving goodbye as your friends drive away, going to the dog park, eating dick's cheeseburger's and laughing at strangers in the car, deciding that you have to have frozen yogurt, spilling it all over yourself but realizing you still have enough, planning your belizean honeymoon, snuggling with the two sweetest dogs in the world, and then climbing into bed completely happy?

i can't.

love,
j

it's my party

i had forgotten how much i love photographer jill greenberg and then was suddenly inspired by my long day at work, and remembered these incredible portraits of crying children.

i think they're amazing. and i remember reading something a long, long time ago about how she was just fascinated by the sheer range of emotion a child could feel within a tiny span of time; that she didn't do anything to upset them, but would rather observe them go from utter delight to total despair in just a moment...

and of course they capture this thing that we can never describe that is so tangible when we witness it, the stirring inside us when we see real sorrow. and though these kids were hunky-dory again in about two seconds flat, for an instant, greenberg was able to capture their miniature tragedy, and i think that is really beautiful.

love,
j

ps. if you're interested at all in bears, which i absolutely am, i adore them, you should also look at her portraits of them in "ursine." actually, all her stuff is good. really stupid beautiful good. and there are even some pictures of happy children to boot. (however, if you're easily offended, i'd avoid the art archive. everything else is safe).

riot.

apparently i'm the last person in the world to see this.

i don't care. it's so beautiful.

love,
j

paper fortress

alyssa showboat passed this on to me this morning, and it had to be the beautiful thing today.

it's the reflections and musings of a videographer named stebs, or paper fortress. he compiled some of the work he's done over the past couple years, wanted to share some of the faces and experiences and revelations he'd been a part of -

and it's lovely:

Paper Fortress: 2009 - 2011 Reflection from Paper Fortress on Vimeo.

on a totally different note, today my little sister, claire mcgregor demorest turns thirteen! happy birthday miss claire! you are one of the most beautiful things of my LIFE, let alone just of a day. i adore you. just take it easy on mom and dad during the teen years...

love,
j

a place where me and things go together

remember that scene in breakfast at tiffany's where holly golightly strolls up to the window at tiffany's and just stands there, staring in? she's wearing her famous black dress, and munching on a croissant, and doesn't want or need to be anywhere but there? to her it is such a beautiful place, a place where "nothing very bad could happen to you."

on my lunch break, i like to walk through downtown, see people's faces, breathe real air, smell the water. but especially, i like to plan my walk so i absolutely have no choice but to go by luly yang and stare in at lovely things. i never have pearls or my hair done (today i had playdough on my pants and glitter rubbed, perhaps permanently, into my scalp), but i feel much the same way.

they used to have this gorgeous red dress that reminded me of the gown the original barbie used to wear... it was the kind of dress that made me feel like i'd spend a million dollars to have it, if i had a million dollars (i think in reality it's about $30,000, i can't remember exactly, because when i asked it was such a glaringly large amount i had to smile and turn around and walk out the front door). and then, after a few weeks, they pulled it back to make room for newer models, none of which have rivaled its beauty to date.

and then today, i wasn't even thinking about that shop, and i went to go buy a congratulations card at a perfect stationary store, and on my way back over the hill, there it was... and just like a kid, i let out a little gasp. it's really breathtaking, and i want it so much it hurts a little.

so there's only one solution, really. i'm going to have to learn how to sew.

love,
j

with this ring

i will thee wed... picked up my wedding band, and it is BEAUTIFUL. i had to post it here, especially combined with my favorite flowers in the world. it's like it was made to go with my engagement ring.

and on a totally different note, i have to post my dad as my really beautiful thing of the day. he married my mom when i was a dorky preteen, and despite my often annoying chatter and the dave letterman-style gap between my two front teeth, he loved me, accepted me, and has been the best father i could ever have asked for. he helped raise me with a combination of carefully thought-out advice, fun adventures, and sometimes tough love, and has helped me become the person i am. i owe so much to him. next month, when he comes back from italy, he will legally adopt me, and in august he will walk me down the aisle with my mom. i love him so much.

happy father's day!

love,
j

nothing like birthday season

(aka, june) to get me too busy to write, run, sleep...

last weekend we held a barbeque for j, and it was a really special day. there is something that always moves me about old friends from different pieces of your life meeting each other and enjoying each other - it feels a little bit like telling a secret, a really extra delicious secret. and j's birthday was a marvelous secret-telling, friend-sharing, remember-all-the-extraordinary-things-i-love-about-that-man kind of day.

and then after everyone left, and we'd done the dishes, fed the dogs, and tidied up, we noticed how pretty this is. and j, always thinking i'm pretty, which is very fortunate for me, took this little photo, and i think it does a very nice job of capturing how lovely that day, and our life, is.



love,
j

ps. dear jacob, i am so glad i was able to make your birthday a little extra special this year. to me, you are the one wonder of the world. there is nothing in this life (or any others) that beats your lovely self.

jackie's love

looking for wedding inspiration of my own, i came across these pictures today and fell even more in love. i wonder what he's saying to her in that last photo...

aren't they darling?

love,

j

othello

my grandparent's house has always been the place i instinctively think of when i hear the word "home." we moved a lot when i was a kid, so this was the place that always seemed constant. it was full of good smells and good people and good old polka music, and it felt safe and consistent and beautiful. even now, the basement holds my great-grandma's vintage costume jewelry and relics from my mother's childhood. upstairs you'll find children's picture books from the early 20th century mixed in with travel guides by rick steves, mingling with the smell of the best grilled cheese sandwiches you ever did have cooking on the stove.

perhaps most beautiful is my grandmother's garden. and although she can always find some little detail to worry about (today the grass was too long, but it'll be mowed tomorrow), it is an oasis of beautiful flowers, small creatures like bumblebees and metallic gold ladybugs i haven't seen anywhere else, and hidden treasures, from small yellow blossoms bursting from a sea of grey to the old log cabin in the very back corner. it is a work of art, and clearly one of great love and care.

today j and lou and i went and visited grandma gerrie and enjoyed all of that, and it is still one of the most exquisite places i've ever been. we watched louis chase a butterfly. we talked about where the different rocks in the yard came from (they all have stories). and mostly, we relaxed in the joy of one another's company, just how i remember it always has been. and although my grandpa stu is no longer here, there are pieces of him everywhere as well. the next door neighbor has cleared out some trees so you can once again see the water and the mountains, and i can remember as a little girl him gesturing to "the brothers." i remember how he would sit in the back quietly, and my grandmother has a picture of him smiling on one of the benches.

so there we were on a rare warm seattle afternoon, and we laughed about the puppy, and we talked about what additions we would make to the house if it were ours, or, really, if we had the money.

but for today, i'd actually make no changes. it was perfect.

love,

j

respondez, s'il vous plait...

a beautiful thing that (technically) happened on june 2, 2011?

i finished addressing, stamping, stuffing, and swak-ing all of our wedding invitations. tomorrow morning they'll be in the mail, and i'm less than three months from marrying the raddest person i've ever met. looking at all of them in one beginning-to-tower pile is powerful. i don't know, the invites just make it feel more... official, somehow. it's pretty great.

love,

j

mrs. meyer's

tonight i got home and did NOTHING but clean my house until jacob got home.

he told me i was like a magic person.

and now my house smells like geraniums and clean all over the place. i'm obsessed with mrs. meyer's, even though j and i always argue about whether it's pronounced "may" or "my." it's one of the best feelings in the world when your house is squeaky clean and smells good to boot.

(sigh).

love,

j