hazel hamilton

this morning, j's grandmother passed away... it's been a long day, and there's a lot of heartache, and every cell of me wants to soak up all of her legacy. there are stories about the house in warm beach, about her cooking, about her favorite feisty sayings, about her love story with grandpa george, about all the things that happened directly as a result of her simply being.


and i hope that when my days are through, my family looks back on me half as fondly.

j said there were a few things he could always count on her to say, and one of them was, "if i knew you were coming i'd have baked a cake."

and then, on our drive to the airport to pick up his brother, he shared this clip with me, and i think both our hearts broke in the most beautiful way possible:

and now we're finally heading to bed, and though we're bleary-eyed and i am so sad for my husband and his family, there's a bittersweet beauty to being able to begin mourning and remembering someone so wonderfully lovable -

for me, there were also a couple things i heard her say consistently over the last couple years. one of them was telling me she was going to carbonado in the morning, but the other was even better. she'd look at me and frown, and i wouldn't be sure if she was going to tell me she liked my sweater or that she wanted me out and was going to call the police, but after a long pause, she'd say, "i don't know who you are, but i think i like you."

hazel, i like you so much.

here's to the truly epic and beautiful hazel hamilton - the matriarch of a family that never ceases to take my breath away. you are already sorely missed, and i have so much to learn from you. i'll start by lifting your "i'd have baked a cake" catchphrase. it's perfect.

love,
j