this moment

i've re-written this post four times now. each time i've deleted it for fear of it sounding negative, or breaching privacy laws at work, or offending someone. the things i want to write about today are too personal and bittersweet to grace this page, and i think i can be at peace with that.

let it suffice to say: this past week has contained some of the greatest depth of emotion i've ever felt. 

and then we got our "trash the dress" photos back, and in the midst of a lot of darkness they were a beautiful reminder of the inordinate amount of joy that fills j's and my days.

so i'm not going to write about any of painful or challenging things that transpired over the week. i'm just going to share one photo, one perfect photo capturing a moment with my favorite human being on the planet. i love him, i love our city, i love our life together, more than anything i really love being his wife. and all of that comes rushing at me when i look at this:

just like a painting, our lives are made up of positive and negative space; light and dark. and one only serves to give us perspective through which we may view the other. i'm glad this photo popped up during my planning time on monday. it was a good reminder that no matter how hard my day at work is, no matter how many things feel like they're going wrong or are spinning out of my control, i have the gift of waking up and coming home to an incredibly loving marriage each day - an adventure with the one person i can't imagine life without - and i'm grateful for those other, harder pieces, too, because they drive home the realization of how truly beautiful finding that is.

j - thank you for being "home" to me. i could never find the words to explain how lucky i feel to have this with you, that marriage is so much better than i could have imagined, that no task is insurmountable because i have you by my side, but this photo can.

love,

j